Dodgeball for Dreamers: How to Outrun Advice Vampires
Being told to "be realistic" is like getting tackled by a participation trophy. It might sting a little, but mostly it just makes you wonder why they're handing out hardware for participation in the dream-crushing gameshow, "Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda." The grand prize? A lifetime supply of beige and a crippling sense of "meh." No thanks.
My own brush with reality-land came from a family member whose enthusiasm rivaled that of a sloth on sedatives. My writing dreams were drier than a desert tumbleweed, and this sage soul, with the bedside manner of a dentist on a sugar rush, suggested I, ahem, apply to a local discount megastore.
Let's just say khakis weren't exactly fueling the fire of my creative spirit. It wasn't the retail gig itself, but the underlying message: "Ditch the crazy writer stuff and get a 'real' job, already!"
But that comment turned out to be the spark that ignited a bonfire of self-discovery. Here's what I learned while roasting marshmallows of wisdom over those flames:
1. Be Your Own Superhero: Once upon a time, negativity could knock me down faster than a toddler with a juice box. But guess what? You don't need a cape to deflect bad advice. Inner confidence is your kryptonite shield. When you know you're awesome, other people's opinions just bounce harmlessly off.
2. Walk a Mile in Their Shoes (Unless They Have Questionable Taste): My family cheerleader (a.k.a. the discount store advocate) runs on fear. Fear is their best friend, their therapist, their spirit animal. Realizing this helped me see their suggestion as a ( misguided) attempt to protect me, not a personal attack on my dreams.
3. Squad Up with the Right People: Not everyone is cheerleader material. Some folks are participation trophy enthusiasts. Surround yourself with people who believe in you and your gloriously weird writer goals. They're the ones who'll throw confetti on your parade, not rain on it with negativity.
4. Don't Ask for Validation When You Know the Answer: Sometimes we ask for opinions like we're Pokemon hunting – gotta collect 'em all! But the truth is, you don't need someone to rubber-stamp your decisions. If you're already gung-ho about something, skip the validation station.
5. Your Reaction is Your Reflection: Ever notice how your own anxieties can leak out when others share their dreams? Suddenly, your friend's travel plans have more holes than a cheese grater, and your significant other's new relationship is moving faster than a snail on roller skates. That's you, projecting your own stuff. Pay attention to how you react – it might reveal more about you than the other person.
6. Ditch the Duality Trap: We tend to see things as good or bad. But most things are just...neutral. Like that spork in your drawer. Spoon? Fork? Existential crisis in utensil form? It all depends on how you look at it. Try to see where others are coming from, you might be surprised by what you find.
So, the next time someone tries to dim your light with a "realistic" comment, remember: you're the author of your own story. Don't let anyone else edit your happily ever after.
