Listen up, you lazy bums! Can you even locate your manly bits? Once you find those elusive nuggets, grab 'em tight and go hunt for some shoes. If you can wrangle a pair of kicks, feel free to prance about like a gazelle on the Serengeti – run to the gym if you can find one. But if you're stuck at home, no excuses! Drop and give me twenty push-ups, followed by a set of sit-ups that'll make your abs cry for mercy.
We're all wandering around aimlessly, waiting to stumble upon our purpose, our "why." Well, newsflash: that purpose ain't gonna fall into your lap while you're binge-watching Netflix. Get off your duff and start hustling now. When you finally discover your raison d'être, you can dive in headfirst and chase it like a rabid squirrel after an acorn.
America has gone softer than a melted marshmallow. I tell the youngsters, "If you've got even a shred of savage in you, the world is your oyster – ready to be pried open and devoured." Back in the day, breaking into certain industries seemed damn near impossible, but nowadays, if you're willing to grind harder than a barista at Starbucks, the opportunities are ripe for the taking.
To all the folks who want to work from home in their pajamas, I wish you the best of luck. But there's a pack of hungry wolves out there, and they're gonna trample all over you while you're busy crying over spilled milk, whining about how you didn't get a fair shake.
This nation was built on the broad shoulders of men who chugged smoke like locomotives, drove like maniacs without seatbelts, and had a steady diet of bacon and whiskey for breakfast. So if you missed your kale smoothie and meditation sesh this morning, quit your bellyaching – you'll survive.
Sometimes, you gotta ditch the optimization obsession and just go full-on Hulk mode, smashing through obstacles with brute force. Trying to be perfect is a surefire way to an early grave, so embrace the chaos and imperfections. Charge towards your goal like a rampaging rhino, sacrificing everything in your path. It's a lonely road, populated mostly by your own shadow, but that's the price of greatness.
Along the way, you'll see the lifeless husks of those who couldn't hack it, but let those cautionary tales inspire you, not deter you. Stay true to your convictions, and don't listen to the naysayers – especially not your neighbor. That guy will start by backhanded compliments about your weight, then turn into a hater once you outshine his mediocre existence.
Success is a spotlight that'll blind the jealous masses, so prepare for their resentment. But the true conqueror's mindset means never straying from the path, finding a way around every obstacle, and extracting every last drop of potential from this crazy journey called life.
NEAL LLOYD
